I'm pretty sure I have A.D.D. (am supposed to be doing work at the moment, now that I think about it), which is why have been unable to come up with a blog post that is more than 2 paragraphs long. I believe this developed some time after college, but it also could have been the drinking, killing brain cells, etc.
So Why Don't I Just Get a Goddamn Twitter Account? Let me tell you how I feel about Twitter:
1) Nobody cares about a 140-character random thought that I post every hour or so. Do they care about yours? Are you sure?
2) It is a cry for attention. Follow me! Check out this funny youtube video that 347,000 other people have posted! I am so funny and original! ("But," you might argue, "doesn't the exact same logic apply to a blog? Aren't you just being a hypocrite?" To this, I respond, "shut up." Also, it's not like anyone who reads this can click "follow" and just have all of my posts show up in their inbox whenever I write something new. . . right?)
3) The name. The logo. "Twitter." So cutesy. Really? You are going to "tweet" about this? I did not realize you were a bird. And if you are a bird, it is pretty impressive that you can type, and more power to you.
4) I have an idea. Why don't you just keep it to yourself once in awhile? Write it down in your journal, tell it to your hamster, save it for your memoirs or book of aphorisms. Oh wait, you don't because that means your 769 followers will not know that you just ate "the. most. amazing. pizza. at arinell's. CUZ I'M DRIZZUUUNK!" I know, Arinell's has pretty good pizza. Especially when drizzunk. But no one needs this much information about what is entering your mouth at any point in time.
5) If you want to stay close to your friends, maybe you should give them a goddamn phone call instead of clicking on the boring news article about corn mold they posted. Or send a letter or a nice email. Or god forbid you actually see them face to face once in awhile. Do it. I bet they'll appreciate it.
That was a pretty long post! Perhaps I should start replacing Adderall with an irrational hatred for other things. Coming soon: Bono; Pineapples On Pizza; and When People Stand On the Left Side of the Escalator Instead of the Right Side Like They're Supposed To.
I like Twitter for various reasons, mostly because it serves as a little hub for short messages between me and my blog friends (and some real friends). The people I follow on Twitter that are actual, real-life friends are people I DO email/call/etc. but sometimes it's nice to just shoot a quick lil message, and when I want to say it to more than one person (or it's not necessarily something that needs a response), Twitter can be easier than a multi-person text message. I don't know...I like Twitter for how I use it. And I don't follow people that tweet annoying stuff.
ReplyDeleteI have no feelings towards Bono in general, but I LOVE pineapples on pizza, and I hate that whole annoying people on the escalator thing, so I'm looking forward to these upcoming posts.
Tweet tweet.
Ha. Ha. You have Twitter now. Ha. Ha.
ReplyDelete